A few months ago, I have volunteered myself to be part of PKPIM's big team in order to organize their annual event, which is called Mesyuarat Perhimpunan Agung Tahunan (MPAT). It was held for 3 days 2 nights. I got my position as a committee who dealt with the registration and accommodation. I was honoured, alhamdulillah. Despite people may see it as an easy task, it is somehow not. At first, all praises to Allah, He granted me an easy path to just go along the way. I could come to the induction for about two times, maybe? 

Induction, for some people may be a quite difficult to attend, but I managed to come. Maybe because the venue is just around Gombak and Wangsa Maju, so I'm fine with it. What surprise me the most was that, Hakimi Hadi was going to be the Program Manager! I mean, he is still young, the same age with me, yet he was given the trust to do the task. For the national event kotttt. I couldn't be more proud of him. Congratulations, Hakimi. You deserve it. Berjaya atau tak, itu belakang cerita. You are one step ahead, and I'm happy to see that. 

Back to the topic, I would like to thank all of my friends who'd been there for me as well, who accompanied me all the time, and all. I'm very thankful. I hope Allah will grant you His blessings. 

For any preparation of an event, an occasion, or even a ceremony, I'm sure there are a lot of unpleasant stories behind all of that. My team tak terkecuali. In fact, all the team experienced the same thing, I guess. For my role, I have to be the person in charge for the registration. So my name and my phone number appeared on the poster of MPAT. There are four members in my team. Two females and two males. Me and Daniel were in charge for the registration, meanwhile Hana and Mior for the accommodation. 

As for the registration, I'm pretty sure that I worked ALONE. I couldn't put any task at all to Daniel, because if I do, he won't fuc*king do it. I was so frustrated at that time. Guys, please eh, if you are assigned to do a job, PLEASE DO IT! Do not ever, ever, ever troublesome people. You guys better die or don't even volunteer yourself at the first place. My whatsapp was not being replied and heck yeah, even in the group, he didn't respond at all, so I cursed him a lot in front of my close friends. What a bl**dy hell.

As for the accommodation, it was a bit hard since Mior and Hana were not around Gombak at that time. Sadly, Hakimi was being in charge to manage and meet some people to find a place for the muktamirin muktamirat to stay. It was very challenging for us because we still cannot find a place two to three days before the event, but alhamdulillah, somehow they managed it for the participants to stay at the mosque instead. 

My friend, Aqill and the team got in trouble too because they have to deal with the sports. For this year's event, Hakimi wanted it to be held with the games and sports as well. Since some of Malaysian are not so into the sports thingy, it was very difficult for Aqill to find players for each games. He need to consult and discuss with me as well since I do the registration. And the rest is history..

And this is the most unexpected things that could happen to me a day before the event....

My grandmother passed away...

That was very shocking and I was so surprised to listen to that news. Sampai sekarang, I still feel guilty for having a doubt whether to balik kampung or not. I phoned my brother and he advised me to go back home since that was the last time I could see her. So I texted Hakimi and other super committees about what happened to me.  

Sepanjang aku tak ada masa event, Kak Nuna had helped my work a lot. Thanks Kak Nuna. I dont know how to repay your kindness, but I was really grateful that you offered your hand to help. Thank you, and thank you. 

The day two, I got back and I continued my task at night. During the dinner, I could see a lot of faces that I barely recognize and some old friends. I was so happy and relaxed to see them all there, together, from all states. 

The next day, I did my job as usual, taking their attendance in every session. My job became harder since our treasurer said that some costs were lacking somewhere. That was because some of the participants had registered, but they didn't come to MPAT. So they were required to pay back the costs since they had registered but didn't show up.

It started to become messy when some of the group couldn't pay on their behalf. I was so sorry to see all of that. Hakimi and the high committees had to deal with it. And till now, I didn't know what's happening. I hope the debt would not be too high. This is the hardest part of organizing a big event, there would be problems in financial stuffs 😅. And I respect those who became the bendahari 'coz she had to deal with people full of weaknesses. Kudos!

And at that evening, I ended my job. Alhamdulillah. 

For sure, I learned a lot during those hectic days of being part of this big team. 

Everyone in that event had their own story. And I don't want to judge them for what they had become today. Same goes to Daniel just now, at first I judged and I cursed him a lot, but then again, if you keep being silent for the things you've done wrong, don't ever think that people will apologize to you. Be realistic. People wouldn't know unless you tell them (duhh). Anyway, I'd forgotten already what he did, but never mind (for the sake of my stories in blog! hehe). 

This is one of the memorable experience that happened in my life and I welcome each moment of it. Though it might contain some bad things, I can succumb it anyway. That's part of being in a big team and yeah, in our lives too.

"Acceptance is the key to be truly free" - Unconditional by Katty Perry

Fara Fasihah,

accepting

"Salam Bihah. Ada tak link yang senang nak bukak result exam? Ya Allah terlupa pukul 5 resultnya keluar. Sekarang dah susah nak log in dah"

Aku terlupa yang hari ni result exam untuk semester 1 bagi sesi 2018/2019 akan keluar. Waktu aku tersedar tu, aku yakin dah ramai gila students UIA pi akses link nak check keputusan masing-masing. Aku dok dalam bilik tengok video sampai terlupa! Teruk perangai *facepalm*

Anyway, aku lepastu dengan berdebarnya pergilah log in (walaupun loading gila). Jujur aku berdebar, sebab macam dah boleh agak result untuk semester ni macam mana. It's going down. After all, masa cuti aku banyak kali check carry marks aku dan setiap kali tu lah, aku rasa macam alaaahhh down nya tengok CAM sendiri. Punyalah teruk. Banyak gila CAM dapat markah separuh daripada markah penuh. Masa tu dah tak expect apa sangat dah. Memang terima je apa keputusan pun. 

Aku tak ada salahkan sesiapa. Ini result aku. Jadi akulah yang in charge dan take responsibility atas semua benda yang aku buat. Faktor yang membuat CAM dan markah jadi menurun pun ada banyak. Tapi tak yakin nak list satu satu, hahahaha. 

And this is my first time tak dapat dean's list. I'm a bit kecewa dan terkilan kat situ. Sebab I'd never obtain lower than 3.5 for this course. Semester ni Tuhan dah tunjuk! Sebab sebelum-sebelum ni pun, aku main je waktu belajar. Tak fokus. Alaa sedih la dengan perangai sendiri. 

Pernah la juga aku confused dengan diri aku sendiri. Aku ni betul ke budak BENL sebab aku selalu dapat A untuk department lain, but for my own department I only got B or B-? That's insane, ironic, and frustrating. Do I deserve to live as a BENL student guys? 

Tapi aku harap sangat next semester would be wayyyy better for me and my friends. 

I know, I know.

It may sound cliche and whatever you wanna say.

But I just write it anyway.

Hopefully, when I reread this post, a true spirit will struck me as fast as a lightning and give me the power and strength to keep moving forward, to keep studying, to keep focusing, and to not giving up!

Yes yes yesssss the day will come inshaAllah !!!!!

Apa-apa pun, whatever results yang aku dapat, aku wajib bersyukur. Banyak kali juga aku pujuk diri aku tadi, "kalau aku bersyukur, Allah tambah nikmat lagi. Sabar. Dah tahu tak dapat dean's list tu, rajin-rajinlah study dan consult lecturer. Dah tahu tak capai target tu, pandai-pandailah buat habis baik untuk semester seterusnya. Jangan putus asa! Berdoa selalu okay"

Alhamdulillah. All praises to Allah, to my parents, and the teachers. 

To my friends who motivates me, and to my lovely one who's always be there for me. 

I love you.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising after every time we fall" - Confucius

Fara Fasihah,

never give up girl

Beberapa hari yang lepas, group whatsapp KAA kecoh lagi. Lepas dah banyak bulan sunyi, akhirnya bising kembali. 

So we were discussing to make a reunion. Benda biasalah kan, nak lepas rindu, nak lepak sama-sama, tanya khabar masing-masing, etc. Aku tak fikir banyak, aku terus setuju nak join reunion tu. Sebab aku masih kat Rengit, dan aku pun tengah free sangat-sangat, jadi aku pun join la the gathering. Pukul 8 malam, kat D'Cabin (dah lama kot idam nak pergi sini, akhirnya dapat jejak jugak! 😂)

To be honest, aku ada rasa gementar sikit waktu on the way nak ke tempat reunion tu. Yelah, aku ni dah la dengan diorang sampai form3 je. Lepas tu aku mana ada contact diorang sangat dah. So aku a bit segan la kalau jumpa diorang. Kotlah diorang lupa cara nak berbual dengan aku ke. Hahaha..

Turns out, it doesn't hahaha. I could say, partially la ~ 🙈

Everything went well, alhamdulillah. My nervous going down rapidly. They are still the same. Sporting, over-friendly, over-excited, and extremely havoc. Tak berubah siaaaa perangai 😂😂

Kitorang pun berbual dan tanya khabar masing-masing, belajar kat mana, dah kerja ke belum, macamana environment kerja, and semua tu lah tanya. Soalan personal pakwe makwe pun tanya (itu wajib! Hahaha)

Bila aku jumpa balik dengan diorang ni, rasa macam ada satu perasaan yang aku tak tahu nak gambarkan macam mana 😅

I mean, we've all grown up. There are changes in places that we used to hang out, there are new personalities that attack each one of us, a lot of perspectives and experiences we've engaged and so much more. And I bet the list will be going on and on as long as we live and breathe. 

You see, bila kita teringat balik how we were back then kat sekolah, we were so young, naive, hot blooded, dumb, and bad tempered. But now? Alhamdulillah my friends and I got survived throughtout the years of developing. 

The things yang aku tak sangka akan terjadi waktu aku kecik-kecik dulu, it eventually happens. Magically. Miraculously. How I see things back then, is totally different dengan how I see things now. 

I was once ada mentality teruk jugak. I thought that a naughty and stubborn child would have no future, would have no friends at the university, would achieve bad results all the time and many other nasty assumption I made towards them.. Turns out, their "present" are better than mine. Way greater than mine. And it taught me a lot. It was kind of a "huge slap" for me to underestimate some of my comrades dulu.

Bila difikirkan semula, I was an annoying girl. Sangat annoying. It was just, nobody said it to my face. Sebab tulah sampai dah nak habis sekolah pun, aku masih berfikiran sempit and selalu nak menang. I was a bad person, man.. If my friends are reading this, I'm truly sorry for everything that I've done to you guys. I really mean it. I want to apologize for every single nasty behaviour, sayings, and reaction that I made to you guys personally or publicly. 😭😭😭🙏

I guess that have taught me a lot. Bila aku didedahkan dengan banyak benda, baru aku tahu, ada banyak lagi benda yang aku tak tahu. 

And that made me to be humble all the time. Don't boast about myself a lot. Don't speak too much. Just do what I wanna do. I don't have to tell people what I'm gonna do. I have to be in the hardships and sacrifice a lot to succeed. I have to be kind to everyone and speak nicely to them. I have to understand that all people are not in the same shoes. I need to remind myself that I cannot underestimate people's abilities and hobbies. I cannot judge them for whoever they are or to be. 

I just need to be myself. To create myself, to discover my potential, my abilities, and my weaknesses. To remind myself good things everyday. To immerse myself with beneficial stuffs. To shower myself with affection. To love my Creator and to be nice to His creation. 

And to love you, F ♥

"Be yourself. God made you the way you are for a reason. Besides, an original is worth more than a copy!" 

Everyone is growing too fast, engaging the world that they didn't know before. Exploring, developing, and discovering are the things that I believe they still do it. And that what makes them today. As a friend, I'm beyond grateful for you to be succeed in everything you do. Keep moving forward, people.

Fara Fasihah,

2018, 28th January

Hai semua orang! Hari ni macam rajin sikit nak up post, so I'm thinking of this one: about guest.

Beberapa minggu yang lepas, adik aku punya kawan datang rumah. So aku pun macam biasa la, kalau aku tak nak melayan, aku duduk je dalam bilik or buat apa-apa yang bukan depan diorang la. Mula-mula tu, aku macam frust la jugak, adik aku ni kawan dia nak datang tapi dia tak inform kitorang awal-awal. Aku tak suka macamtu. At least, bagitahu, baru aku senang nak prepare apa-apa, kemas rumah ke, apa ke, just in case lah kan. Sebab tetamu kot!

And then, to my surprise, yang lagi buat aku frustrated, rupanya kawan dia tu nak bermalam kat rumah aku! What the... hahahaha, time ni aku tak tahu lah apa yang aku tak puas hati sangat. Dia datang, aku tak tahu. Dia nak bermalam pun aku tak tahu. And what worst is, even parents aku pun tak tahu! Helloooo hormat sikit?

Waktu tu parents aku layan macam biasa la, ajak makan, ajak kenal-kenal semua tu. Tapi entah kenapa entah pemalu tahap langit ketujuh, bila diajak makan, dia tak nak. Bila diajak keluar dari bilik, tak nak. Eee menyampah. Dia dah lah menumpang kat bilik sembahyang. Dah satu hal mak aku kena naik bilik atas untuk solat. Mak aku ni dah tak larat nak naik tangga selalu. Perempuan tu dah la conquer bilik sembahyang tu, tak keluar-keluar. Even dia tak selalu engage dengan kitorang pun, aku rasa meluat sebab perangai tak macam tetamu yang decent. 

Dah banyak kali aku suruh adik aku supaya bawak kawan dia keluar, at least makan, tengok tv ke (waktu ni kitorang tak tengok tv sebab nak kasi dia peluang, tapi dia tak keluar dari bilik pulak, membazir!). Sabar je aku. Nak marah, itu anak orang lah pulak. 

Keesokannya, dia bangun lambat! Weiii, aku tak kisah atau tak judge tau orang yang bangun lambat ni, tapi bangun lambat kat rumah orang???????? Dah la aku tengah panas waktu tu dengan perangai dia, yang dia ni pulak macam tak ada common sense masih sedap lagi tidur sampai dah pukul 12 tengah hari! Woii gila eh. Rumah orang kot. Sangat sangat tak proper.

Aku geram sangat kot waktu tu, aku bukak je pintu bilik sembahyang tu, aku bukak lampu, biar dia tak selesa tidur. Lepas tu, aku saje je jerit 'WOIII BANGUN DAH PUKUL BERAPA NI'. Selain geram kat perempuan tu, aku pun geram lah jugak dengan adik aku. Dia pun sama tak bangun. Angin betul aku. 

At the same day, parents aku ada hal tau. So parents aku tak boleh keluar rumah selagi perempuan tu tak keluar. Aku macam curious la, weii perempuan ni takde rumah ke, apesal mak pak dia bagi anak dia tidur rumah orang sesuka hati tanpa information? Kalau nak bermalam tu, boleh je. Cuma jadilah tetamu yang ada common sense sikit. Lagi annoyed bila orang yang ambik dia tu datang lambat. Aku ni lah waktu tu selagi perempuan tu tak keluar rumah, selagi tu lah aku stres dan tak tenang. 

Dan akhirnya, dia pun keluar. Thank God! Waktu lepas dia keluar ni, aku memang mengadu kaw kaw la kat mak aku pasal perempuan ni. Aku tahu je mak dengan ayah aku pun frust pasal perempuan tu, tapi mak aku macam biasa la, suruh bersabar. Sebab budak perempuan tu masih muda lagi (14 tahun), maybe dia tak diajar common sense, maybe dia kurang akal lagi, maybe dia tak didedahkan dengan adab menjadi tetamu. 

Geram tau bila fikir balik. Kalau dapat marah, dapat maki ni pun best juga. Barulah rasa puas hati. Tapi apakan daya, tak kesampaian. Dan aku terlalu lembut untuk memaki dan memarah orang. Sekian terima kasih hahaha.

Moral of the story:

1. Inform tuan rumah kalau nak datang rumah, lagi-lagi kalau nak bermalam

2. Kalau kau tetamu, jangan lah jadi segan nak mampus tak nak makan, tak nak keluar bilik. Aku tampar kang

3. Sila bangun awal. Jadilah manusia yang decent bila bermalam di rumah orang. Ini bukan rumah kau, sampai kita tuan rumah ni kena kejutkan. Giloo

4. Dah tahu guna bilik orang tu, kemaslah balik lepas guna. Aku bukan orang gaji kau.

....dan banyak lagi adab-adab bila jadi tetamu ni. Bagi salam sebelum masuk, ucap terima kasih pada tuan rumah, jangan selalu dok main gadget, jangan dok terperap dalam bilik. 

Aku rasa sampai sini lah post aku kali ini. Ini post yang berbaur kemarahan ni! hahaha. Till then, bye. Have a nice day ahead :)

C: *made a whatsapp status* Aku nak jadi baik. I want to improve myself to be better. Can you help me? Only you can see this story. 

F: Sure I can help you. What is it?

C: Aku ada benda nak bincang sikit. Ingat nak buat open table. Haaa takut tak?

F: Hahahaha takut lah juga. Apa dia?

C: Nantilah. Lepas aku habis paper hari Jumaat ni. Nanti aku rehat la kejap lepas paper, boleh call.

F: Oh, okay.

*lepas habis paper hari Jumaat*

F: Wei, kata nak cakap something. Bagitahu lah.

C: Alaaa yang tu nantilah. Lepas aku habis paper next week. Tinggal sikit je. 

F: Hahaha, okay.

*lepas habis semua paper*

*lepas bercuti di Cameron Highlands*

F: Weii, kata nak bagitahu sesuatu haritu. Apa dia?

C: Alaaa apa ek? Aku dah lupa lah. Takpelah, tak payah ingat.

15 November. That's my birthday. Happy Birthday to me! :'D

Macam biasa waktu tu, aku masih kat mahallah dan tak tidur lagi. Aku dapat lah beberapa mesej daripada kawan-kawan, diorang wish birthday aku kat whatsapp. Dalam group whatsapp pun ada. Facebook post and Instagram post pun ada. Family members pun ada. So I'm a bit glad sebab ada lah juga yang sudi wish birthday kita dan doa kan kita. I hope the du'a will be granted by Allah, the positive ones. And aku harap doa mereka tu diberikan juga pada mereka yang mendoakan. 

Waktu zohor masatu, Azyan mesej aku suruh teman dia kat Cafe sebab dia keseorangan. Sebagai kawan yang baik hati, aku pun datanglah dari masjid ke cafe untuk temankan dia. Lepastu entah macamana, aku kabolah ke dia yang harini birthday aku. The funny thing is, dia tak percaya, hahaha. Siap suruh bagi IC lagi sebab nak sahkan. Dia pun wish la kat situ dan belanja aku makan buah hihihi sedapp.

Tanpa aku tahu lepas aku habis kelas pukul 6 petang tu, roommates aku buat plan untuk aku! 

Aku naik lambat sebab nak angkat baju dari bawah. Bila dah masuk bilik tu, Azyan dengan Auni terus nyanyi lagu birthday untuk aku! Dengan hiasan kat atas katil aku, ada banyak gila makanan ya Allah hahaha. Then, macam biasalah buat video ambik gambar semua. Aku tak reti la nak explain feeling aku masatu. Aku speechless sangat. Sebab tak pernah orang buat surprise ala ala gempak macamni. Thank you Mimie, Azyan, Auni, and Zahrina. Thank you korangggg :') 

Malam tu, last day untuk Stanex kat Convest Hill tu, so aku nak luangkan masa dengan roommates aku ni. Jadi aku ikut la. Ramai juga kawan-kawan dan senior yang aku jumpa malam tu. Ramai juga yang wish pada aku secara live. Ya Allah too much already la guys, overwhelming tau, happy gila :') Thank youuuuuuuu. I'm happy sampai sekarang kalau ingat balik huhu.. 

Malam 16 November tu, Maryam mesej, she asked me to join her for breakfast kat HS Cafe. She said that she wanna treat me as a birthday present. Gituu. So aku ON jelah kalau bab ajak makan free ni :P One of the things that you guys could give to someone if their birthday is coming is, just give them food ok! Food is everything you need hehehe. So after that pagi, I joined her, and to my surprise, she is not the only one who is there! Ada Aqill, Hakimi, dengan Syed! Did they plan on something or apa? I was very curious tapi at the same time macam tahu lah the reasons why diorang ada kat situ - to celebrate my birthday! 

Aku terharu sangat diorang datang pagi pagi pukul 7 tu semata nak sambut birthday aku. Kecil-kecilan je sebab ramai yang tak available. Aku OK je, sebab faham students life semua ni. Then, Aqill cerita yang dia dengan Hakimi call budak-budak gen13 sorang-sorang masa malam 16 November tu to celebrate my birthday. Aku pun macam, ya Allah korang... My overwhelming feeling tak berhenti kat situ sebab I saw Roti and Sardin atas meja (by Aqill of course!) dengan sedikit jajan dan biskut yang Hakimi belikan untuk aku. Hakimi so sweeeeeeeeeet T_T Maryam pulak, belanja aku air. I was thinking nak makan roti canai pagi tu, tapi since diorang dah provide breakfast ni, aku makanlah Roti dengan Sardin tu. Alhamdulillah kenyang weii. Semoga Allah balas jasa korang semua, aamiin!

After a few days.... Aishah mesej, katanya nak pinjam buku english. Aku pun percaya la bulat-bulat. Jadi malam tu, aku turun bilik nak jumpa Aish untuk bagi buku ni, then... she gave me this...!

Aku lagilah speechless, memang tak tahu nak cakap apa selain thank you banyak kali. Ya Allah the best birthday ever, because I got many free food, cannot resist la huwaaaa T_T

And after that day, Haziqah pulak bagi hadiah. And oh ya, katanya dia dengan Aish plan nak celebrate sama-sama. Tapi since masatu tengah busy gila dengan assessments, so diorang pun tak jadi buat hahaha. Selain Haziqah, A-cid pun ada buat surprise kat akuuuuu. Dia belikan bunga ros pink wei! Terima kasih la semuaaaaaaaaaaaa

A few days lagi.... hahaha, Faez pulak bagi hadiah, dia belanja Mosha! Thank you Faez-kun! 

Last but not least, actually for your information, there is a person yang jadi orang pertama wish aku Birthday masa pukul 12 malam dated on 15th November tu. Thank you jugak. Sebelum birthday pun, dia ajak pi keluar. Makan pizza, tengok wayang and all. Emmmmm bestttttttt. Hehehe.. Then, a few days lepas tu pun, dia ajak keluar lagi. Kalini tengok wayang lagi and makan KFC kat Avenue-K! Terima kasihhhh tau. Special one punya, cannot share with anyone else hehehe Wuv youu <3

Sekian post kali ini. Terima kasih pada semua yang wish dan mendoakan. Semoga doa yang baik-baik itu Allah kurniakan juga kepada kalian! Dah 21 ni, aku memang la kena behave. Banyak lagi nak kena hadap kat dunia ni. Dan InshaAllah semoga Allah berikan kekuatan pada aku mental dan fizikal untuk keep going and tak akan putus asa. Alhamdulillah, and thank you for everything, my Lord. Semoga juga aku mampu berikan khidmat dan balas jasa semua manusia yang berada di sekeliling ku.