Sweater Abe

7:50 PM

Sebenarnya aku agak terkilan.

Malam tu, macam biasa, kau akan call aku lepas kau study kat library/fakulti. Aku pun selalu tunggu kau call. Tak sabar nak bertukar cerita dan bergurau senda, dan buat lawak bodoh dengan kau.

Tapi tak sangka, at the very beginning in the conversation, kau sebut nama aku..

You know what, Abe? Everytime kau sebut/panggil nama aku, then I know you want to say something, that for surely will hurt my feelings. I just don't get ready..

Tapi aku dengar suara kau sangat berhati hati. Kau cuba untuk kawal intonasi dan ayat supaya kau dapat sampaikan apa yang kau mintak.

So yeah, it happened last night. You ask for your sweater back. Aku macam..... speechless. Terus senyap. Tak tahu nak kata apa. Mungkin kau rasa 'itu cuma sweater..'

Tapi come to think of it, ia mengingatkan aku macam mana at the first place aku dapat sweater tu. It was unexpected. Sweater tu kau bagi masa hari lahir aku. Aku rasa that was the wonderful present I got for my birthday. And then, you ask for it back..

I was extremely sad, Abe. By the time aku menulis ni, aku masih menangis sebab fikir benda ni je. Tapi aku tak nak lah terlalu mengikut emosi.

Aku fikir balik semula. Dan ternyata kau lebih memerlukan sweater ni daripada aku. Bayangkanlah, sweater ni kau beli dari tahun 2014 kot. Mesti kau sayang gila babeng kat sweater ni.

Posession. Apa je yang kita tak sayang kalau dah masuk dalam barang posession kita ni.

Mungkin lepas ni kau kena consider semula untuk lepaskan barang-barang kesayangan kau kat orang lain, hatta orang itu makwe kau sekalipun.

Aku rasa bersalah sebab buat kau bagi sweater ni kat aku sedangkan kau sangat memerlukannya. Like what I've said earlier, it's not easy to let go our possessions to other people. The worse things is, you gave it on my birthday.

But it's okay. You need it more than I do. I will take my acknowledgement back, saying that the sweater is mine. Because the sweater is now entirely yours. You and I, we both agree.

Abe, if you happen to read this, (low probability lah kot, kau kan dah tak bukak blog aku), I want you to know that I love you no matter what.

Just, be thoughtful, will you?

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