Quite hectic

5:55 PM

Rasanya dah lama tak menulis kat blog ni. Ni aku nak tulis pun rasa awkward gila.

Sebenarnya minggu ni agak sibuk, hari Isnin ni ada presentation Islamic Aqidah lepastu petang tu pulak ada kuiz Sociolinguistics. Hari Selasa pulak ada final tilawah. Rabu pulak kena submit buku skrap Sociolinguistics. Dan paling buat aku rasa kurang tenang adalah sebab kumpulan aku tak perform lagi drama! Huhu.. 

Jadi sementara aku nak baca topik topik untuk kuiz esok, aku nak menulis kejaplah. Kot lah aku boleh rasa puas sikit lepas dah luahkan semuanya dalam bentuk tulisan.

Minggu ni agak 'tense' untuk aku. Aku tak berapa nak pasti kenapa. Tapi despite all these submissions, assignments, and presentations, there is something else that disturb me quite some time. I think it concerns with the personal matters; relationships, self spiritual etc.

Oh, haritu aku pergi BBW. Lepastu masa balik tu, aku dengan Najah ada lah bincang sikit-sikit pasal 'kematangan'. Let me ask you this, apa definisi korang tentang 'kematangan'?

Is it something related to independent? Not crying over small things? Or being tolerant in a relationship? Apa? Apa?

Aku perasan dan aku tahu, some people might perceive me as childish and immature. I don't know why. Maybe because I actually am?

Entah, Najah ada cakap lagi. Kau buat apa-apa pun, kena concern dengan perasaan orang. Kita hidup dalam dunia ni bukan kita sorang je. Ada lagi manusia di sekeliling kita ni.

Aku kabo ke Najah yang aku memang tak boleh dijadikan kawan. I mean, I am a selfish and self-centred person kot? Aku ada ego besar dan aku tak suka kalah. That is why I rarely concern with other's feelings. And that is totally my bad :(

I'm sorry.

But ironically, at the same time, I need these people to be always with me. Oh damn Fara :'(

Jadi dalam perbualan semalam, aku selalu tanya kat Najah, dan aku selalu monolog.

"Macamana nak jadi matang?"

Some people will answer the question with general answer. I really in need specific answers in order for me to know how to be mature at all times?

Okaylah. Sampai sekarang aku tak jumpa jawapan. Because I thought I just want to be myself jela. But again, aku pun nak improve diri to be better. So how? :/

Yeah, back to the topic. This week is quite hectic because all of these. I need sufficient sleep and proper meal, as well. Therefore, I bid you farewell :)

Pray for me :)

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